The Duties of Fathers

August 5, 2018 in Bible - NT - 1 Thessalonians, Children, Meditations, Parents

1 Thessalonians 2:10-12 (NKJV)
10 You are witnesses, and God also, how devoutly and justly and blamelessly we behaved ourselves among you who believe; 11 as you know how we exhorted, and comforted, and charged every one of you, as a father does his own children, 12 that you would walk worthy of God who calls you into His own kingdom and glory.

When last I preached, we looked at this text in Thessalonians and the lessons that Paul teaches us about fatherhood. We learned that our calling as fathers is to live devoutly, justly, and blamelessly in the face of our children, our church, and our community. We are to be men “above reproach” as Paul says elsewhere. This is the type of men fathers are to be, this is to be our character.

But Paul not only describes the character of fathers in Israel, he also outlines the duties of fathers. Paul tells us that he “exhorted, and comforted, and charged” every one of the Thessalonians “as a father does his own children.” So notice the triad of responsibilities that Paul ascribes to fathers.

First, fathers are to exhort their children. The word is parakaleo – literally, “to call alongside.” Hence, fathers are not only to model what it means to live devoutly, justly, and blamelessly but are to call their children to join them in this type of life. The life lived in the fear of God, lived in obedience to Him, is the truly blessed life, and fathers are responsible to point this out to their children and encourage their children to recognize it and love it. Even as Paul encouraged the Thessalonians to learn the ways of Christ and honor Christ with their lives, so fathers are to exhort their children to follow Him.

Second, fathers are to comfort their children. The word is paramutheomai – meaning literally, “to cause them to be consoled.” Fathers, in other words, are not to be distant or hard to reach, they are not to be unkind or uncharitable to their children. Rather, fathers are to comfort them, to come alongside them, to stoop down and lift them up. Our comforting kindness to our children serves, after all, as a picture of the kindness of our Heavenly Father. Psalm 103 declares that even as a father pities his children, so the Lord pities those who fear him. Thus even as Paul comforted the Thessalonians in the midst of hardship, fathers are to comfort their children throughout the course of their lives.

Finally, fathers are “to charge” their children. And many a father out there says, “Yes, I wish I could charge my children but they don’t have any money!” Well it’s not that kind of charge. The word is martureo – “to bear witness.” It is the word from which we get our word “martyr.” Our calling is to bear witness to our children, to point them to Christ. We are to bring up our children in the nurture and admonition of the Lord, pointing to Christ as the only hope for individuals, families, and societies. In a Christian home, the daily witness of a father (and mother) who loves and serves Jesus is the ordinary means that God uses to bring our children to faith. Even as Paul bore witness to Christ among the Thessalonians, calling them to trust in Him and believe in Him, so fathers are to bear witness to Jesus among their families.

So, fathers, how are you doing? Are you daily, with each of your children, encouraging them, comforting them, and bearing witness to them so that Christ might be formed in them? Or have you been lazy, assuming that your children will just “get it”? Have you been pro-active and purposeful or have you abdicated, relying on your wife to accomplish the task? Have you been distant, failing to engage your kids? Then the Word of the Lord comes to you today – repent and start being a real father.

The calling of fathers to encourage, comfort, and bear witness to their children, reminds us that we all of us, father and mothers, have failed in many ways to live up to our calling in the eyes of God. We have sinned, and are in need of the forgiving grace of God in Christ. And so let us confess the many ways in which we have fallen short. We will confess our sins privately and then corporately using the printed confession found in your bulletin. As you are able, let us kneel together as we confess.

The Calling of Fathers

July 1, 2018 in Authority, Bible - NT - 1 Thessalonians, Children, Meditations, Parents

1 Thessalonians 2:10-12 (NKJV)
10 You are witnesses, and God also, how devoutly and justly and blamelessly we behaved ourselves among you who believe; 11 as you know how we exhorted, and comforted, and charged every one of you, as a father does his own children, 12 that you would walk worthy of God who calls you into His own kingdom and glory.

In our text today Paul reminds the Thessalonians of his conduct among them – and he uses the metaphor of a father. He had treated them, he writes, as a father does his own children. Paul’s description, therefore, gives us a vision of fatherhood. Today I would like us to observe that Paul helps us understand the calling of fatherhood: “You are witnesses, and God also, how devoutly and justly and blamelessly we behaved ourselves among you who believe…” What is the calling of fathers? It is to live devoutly, justly, and blamelessly among our families. This is our calling. As fathers in Israel, we are to set a standard that our wives, our children, and all others can witness and follow.

First, we are to live devoutly. We are to live our lives in the fear of God. We are to be models of love for God, love for His law, and love for His people. We are to be the ones encouraging our wives and children to grow in their love for the things of God. And the principal way in which we encourage this is by modeling it – loving the Lord, loving to read His Word and to pray, loving the singing of the psalms, loving fellowship. We are to live devoutly.

Second, we are to live justly. In our personal conduct and in our administration of discipline in the home, we are to be models of justice and fair-mindedness. We are to listen carefully to complaints and judge justly based on the principles found in God’s word. We are not to be blinded by our own prejudices; we are not to delight in airing our own opinions. No. We are to be steadfastly loyal to justice, righteousness, and truth. We are to live justly.

Third, we are to live blamelessly. We are to listen to the Word of God and implement it in our lives. We are to live above reproach. Our standard is not that we be cool or that we be hip or that we be fashionable or that we be politically correct or that we be conservative or that we be liberal. Our standard is that we be blameless – clinging tenaciously to God’s Word and seeking His approval. We are to live blamelessly.

This, then, is the calling of fatherhood: to live devoutly and justly and blamelessly among our families. How can we possibly live this way? Only by the grace of God who calls us into His kingdom and glory. He is the One who must work in and through us to glorify His Name. In ourselves we are not capable to live this way – but by the grace of God we can.

Reminded, therefore, of our calling to live devoutly, justly, and blamelessly before the Lord and before His people, let us confess our failure to do so to the Lord. And as we confess, and as you are able, let us kneel together. We will have a time of silent confession followed by the corporate confession found in your bulletin.

Babies, Baptism, and the Kingdom of God

January 28, 2018 in Baptism, Bible - NT - Luke, Children, Parents

Luke 18:15-17 (NKJV)
15 Then they also brought infants to [Jesus] that He might touch them; but when the disciples saw it, they rebuked them. 16 But Jesus called them to Him and said, “Let the little children come to Me, and do not forbid them; for of such is the kingdom of God. 17 Assuredly, I say to you, whoever does not receive the kingdom of God as a little child will by no means enter it.”

Today I have the privilege of baptizing Mary Anna Joy Bryan. Since the baptism of infants is a relatively uncommon practice in the evangelical church, I usually like to offer a brief explanation. Why baptize babies?

The answer to that question is implied in our text today. When various followers of Jesus brought their infants to Jesus that He might bless them, the disciples rebuked them. They were convinced that these infants were a distraction, an inconvenience, a burden and that Jesus’ work was far too important to be disturbed by them. But Jesus insists that this mindset is deeply mistaken.

Jesus says, “Let the little children come to Me and do not forbid them…” This “Let” is not one of allowance but of command. In other words, Jesus orders His disciples, “You must permit the children to come… it is your duty to permit them to come…” And who are these children? They are not children capable of bringing themselves, capable of running to Jesus or vocally confessing His Name. These are infants, brephos, nursing babes.

So why should infants be brought to Jesus? Jesus answers: for of such is the kingdom of God. In other words, God lays claim to the babies of believers and calls them His own, calls them by His Name. Therefore, they should be brought to Him. So how does God mark us out as His own? How does He place His Name upon us? In baptism. We are baptized in the Name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit. Baptism is God’s testimony: you are mine! Therefore, since God claims our children, it is fitting that we bring them to Him for baptism into His Name.

And as we bring these children to the waters of baptism, they teach us an important lesson. Jesus declares, “Whoever does not receive the kingdom as a little child will by no means enter it.” And how do these infants receive the kingdom? Helplessly, passively, dependently. So even as Mary Anna must be brought to Jesus by her parents in order for her to be blessed by Him, so you must be brought to Jesus by the Spirit in order for you to be blessed by Him. Her very dependency reminds us that we are in need of God’s grace to bring us spiritual life and blessing.

The Prating Fool Will Fall

January 14, 2018 in Authority, Bible - OT - Proverbs, Children, Meditations, Parents, Tongue

Proverbs 10:8 (NKJV)
8 The wise in heart will receive commands, But a prating fool will fall.

Wisdom is a commodity that has often been in short supply. Praise God, therefore, that the Spirit whom the Father poured out upon Jesus and whom Jesus pours out upon His people is, according to the prophet Isaiah, “the Spirit of wisdom…” (Is 11:2). Hence, Paul prays for the Ephesians that “Father of glory may give to you the Spirit of wisdom…” (Eph 1:17). God pours out His Spirit upon the Church in order that we might become more wise.

So how does the Spirit grow us in wisdom, how does He impart His wisdom to us? One of the chief ways He does so is through instruction in the Word of God including the Proverbs of Solomon. The Proverbs guide and teach us that we might be full of wisdom; that we might govern our lives in a way that glorifies and honors our Creator and Redeemer, the Lord of hosts. So today Solomon gives us one of the evidences of wisdom: The wise in heart will receive commands, but a prating fool will fall.

There are two parts to Solomon’s exhortation. First, Solomon tells us that the Spirit of wisdom teaches the wise to receive commands. In the words of James, the brother of our Lord, the wise in heart is”quick to hear” (Jas 1:19). The wise in heart recognizes that God has created a world in which there are proper authorities – parents, elders, employers, bosses, governors, kings, etc. Hence, the wise in heart receives commands, he listens to what these authorities tell him and, so far as he is able, he honors and obeys them in the fear of God.

Solomon contrasts the wise in heart with the prating fool. Who is a prating fool? To “prate” is “to talk much and without substance”; it is to “talk tediously about something.” The prating fool, therefore, is one who is so fond of his own opinions and desires that he refuses to listen to others. He goes on and on and on and on, sure that he is the fount of wisdom, knowledge, and instruction. He is not, in James’ words, quick to hear and slow to speak. No, the prating fool is so fond of his own opinions that he refuses to listen to instruction and he will fall. Why? Because the prating fool is proud and God is opposed to the proud.

The wise in heart will receive commands, But a prating fool will fall. Solomon’s words have particular relevance for the young. One of the great temptations of youth – listen up you teens – is to refuse to listen to your parents and instead to blather on about your own opinions. “Mom, I shouldn’t have to walk the dog because it is Susie’s turn to walk the dog and it isn’t fair that I’m always walking the dog and sometime last week Georgie stole my pencil and I think that I sprained my ankle last night and…” That is an example of a prating fool. But the wise in heart knows that when mom gives a command, it is time to be quiet and obey.

But Solomon’s words apply not only to the young; they apply to all. Solomon tells us that the wise in heart is humble, the wise in heart knows how to submit. So, wives, do you receive the commands of your husband? He is your lawful authority, do you listen to him? Men, do you receive the commands of your employers, bosses, and elders? They are your lawful authorities, do you listen to them? You see the same temptations that confront teens, also confront you. Do you too make excuses for your pride, are you too a prating fool, or are you wise in heart, humble, and inclined to receive commands?

And so reminded that God is opposed to the proud but gives grace to the humble, gives grace to those who receive commands, let us confess that we have often been proud and refused to receive commands. And as you are able, let us kneel before the Lord as we confess our sins. We will have a time of silent confession followed by the corporate confession found in your bulletin.

Do it again!

December 24, 2017 in Bible - OT - Proverbs, Children, Christmas, Church Calendar, Covenantal Living, Liturgy, Meditations, Parents

Proverbs 8:30–32 (NKJV)
30 Then I [Wisdom] was beside [the Creator] as a master craftsman; And I was daily His delight, Rejoicing always before Him, 31 Rejoicing in His inhabited world, And my delight was with the sons of men. 32 “Now therefore, listen to me, my children, For blessed are those who keep my ways.

As we anticipate the arrival of Christmas and the birth of the Christ Child, I doubt that I have to remind you that children love these times of celebration. While we adults often grow tired, kids never tire; they long for the celebration. “When are we going to get the tree? When are we going to put up the lights? When are we going to open presents?” Are you children excited?

We see in our text from Proverbs today that the delight and energy and joy of children reveals God’s own delight in all His work. God never tires of causing the earth to spin like a top; never tires of flapping the wings of a bird; never tires of causing the grass to sprout from the earth; never tires of sucking water out of the earth through the roots of a tree and turning the nutrients into apples that people can eat. All these works of the Lord reveal His untiring joy and laughter, reveal His delight in all His work, His faithfulness and uprightness. G.K. Chesterton explains all this in his inimitable way in his book Orthodoxy. He writes:

“Now, to put the matter in a popular phrase, it might be true that the sun rises regularly because he never gets tired of rising. His routine might be due, not to a lifelessness, but to a rush of life. The thing I mean can be seen, for instance, in children, when they find some game or joke that they specially enjoy. A child kicks his legs rhythmically through excess, not absence, of life. Because children have abounding vitality, because they are in spirit fierce and free, therefore they want things repeated and unchanged. They always say, “Do it again”; and the grown-up person does it again until he is nearly dead. For grown-up people are not strong enough to exult in monotony. But perhaps God is strong enough to exult in monotony. It is possible that God says every morning, “Do it again” to the sun; and every evening, “Do it again” to the moon. It may not be automatic necessity that makes all daisies alike; it may be that God makes every daisy separately, but has never got tired of making them. It may be that He has the eternal appetite of infancy; for we have sinned and grown old, and our Father is younger than we.”

So what of you? Have you grown old? Have you ceased to look in wide-eyed wonder at the world? You teens, have you become too insecure or too self-important to rejoice with joy? You young adults, have you become too self-absorbed and ambitious to slow down and enjoy family and friends? You adults, have you become too tired and lazy to celebrate with joy? Or too greedy to enjoy the delights of fellowship? Reminded that we have sinned and grown old, that we have become bored and complacent with the marvelous world that God has made and in which He has placed us, that we have complained rather than overflowed with thanksgiving, let us kneel and confess our sin to the Lord. We will have a time of silent confession, followed by the corporate confession found in your bulletin.

Why pursue wisdom?

October 29, 2017 in Bible - OT - Proverbs, Bible - OT - Psalms, Confession, Discipline, Image of God, Meditations, Parents, Wisdom

Proverbs 10:1 (NKJV)
1 The proverbs of Solomon: A wise son makes a glad father, But a foolish son is the grief of his mother.

The proverbs of Solomon guide and teach us in order that we might be full of wisdom; in order that we might govern our daily affairs in a way that glorifies and honors our Creator and Redeemer, the Lord of hosts. In chapter 10 of Proverbs, Solomon begins to identify practical ways that the law of God teaches us wisdom. And where does he begin? He begins with your motivation. Why should you pursue wisdom? Because it is the wise son who brings joy to his parents.

Every child is born with an innate desire to please his parents. This desire is a gift from God, part of what it means to be made in the image of God. God the Son has eternally delighted to do the will of His heavenly Father, a delight on display in His Incarnation. “I delight to do Your will, O God,” Psalm 40:8 declares, “Your law is within my heart.” This delight of the Eternal Son in the Eternal Father has been hard-wired into the world such that children long for the approval of their parents, oftentimes even when those parents have been cruel or unkind.

So how can a son, young men, how can you, please your parents? Solomon gives you the answer: strive for wisdom and avoid folly. Cultivate the fear of God; meditate on the commandments of God; imbibe the promises of God; flee greed; flee lust; flee covetousness. Why should you do these things? Because it is the wise son who makes his father glad; because it is the foolish son that brings grief to his mother. And which would you rather do, bring your father joy or bring your mother grief? I pray to God that you would rather do the former.

But perhaps you don’t care about pleasing your parents. Perhaps you could care less what they think; perhaps you just want to cause them pain because you are frustrated with their restrictions or upset by their rules or hurt by their inattention. What should you do then? The first thing you should do is stop making excuses for your sinful attitude, confess it to God, and pray that He would change it. The fifth commandment is clear: Honor your father and your mother, that it may go well with you and you may live long on the earth. God’s desire for you is that you honor your parents. So if you are failing to do so, if you have no desire to do so, then you are in sin and you need to repent.

But what if you are the parent? What if your child doesn’t care about pleasing you, what should you do? First, ask yourself whether you care about pleasing your parents. Much more is caught than taught. If you do not long to please your parents it may very well be that your kids are simply taking a page from your book. If so, repent and confess your sins to the Lord and to your kids. Second, are you embittering your children, treating them tyrannically? A child’s innate desire to please his parents, though strong and resilient, can be destroyed by such behavior.

Reminded this morning that the innate desire that God has placed within us to receive the praise of our parents is often twisted, distorted, or even annihilated by our sin, let us confess our sin to the Lord and seek His forgiveness. And as we confess our sin, let us kneel as we are able. We will have a time of silent confession followed by the corporate confession found in your bulletin.

Jesus Honored His Mother

May 14, 2017 in Bible - NT - John, Meditations, Parents, Ten Commandments
John 2:1–5 (NKJV)
1 On the third day there was a wedding in Cana of Galilee, and the mother of Jesus was there. 2 Now both Jesus and His disciples were invited to the wedding. 3 And when they ran out of wine, the mother of Jesus said to Him, “They have no wine.” 4 Jesus said to her, “Woman, what does your concern have to do with Me? My hour has not yet come.” 5 His mother said to the servants, “Whatever He says to you, do it.”
In honor of Mothers’ Day, I thought it would be fitting to remember that our Lord Jesus, the very One who existed eternally as the Word of God and who assumed a human nature for us and for our salvation, had a mother and learned to honor his mother throughout His earthly pilgrimage.
One of the greatest tests of Jesus’ honor for his mother is described in our text today. As I have read, when the wine ran out at this wedding, Mary urged Jesus to assist the bridegroom. Unfortunately, her request was entirely inappropriate – so much so, that Jesus felt compelled to correct her. “Woman, what does your concern have to do with Me? My hour has not yet come.” She was not the one to determine when His earthly ministry would begin.
And yet; and yet, Mary is confident that Jesus will honor her request. So she speaks to the servants, “Whatever He says to you, do it.” Mary knew the character of her Son and knew that He would do this for her. And Jesus doesn’t disappoint. He turns the water into wine and, in so doing, reveals His glory and commences His public ministry.
There is an important lesson here for you children, especially for you sons. Note that even when Jesus’ mother asked something that was inappropriate given the circumstances, Jesus honored her and did what she requested. And if Jesus, the Lord of all, honored His mother’s request even when it was untimely, then how much more ought we children to honor our mothers when they make requests of us? In so far as we are able, let us fulfill the requests of our mothers – for Jesus has gone before us.

Often, however, we are too full of ourselves to sacrifice and die to our own desires on behalf of our mothers. We think of what our mothers are to do for us rather than what we are to do for them. But God calls us to honor our mothers even as our Lord Jesus did. As we see in our text, He commenced His ministry at her request. Further, one of His last actions was to provide for His mother’s welfare even while He was suffering on the cross, entrusting her to the care of the Apostle John (John 19:25-27).
So let me urge you fathers out there – one of your most important callings is to make sure that your children, especially your boys, respect and obey their mom. Your children should know that a non-negotiable in your home is disobeying mom. “You will honor your mother; you will obey your mother; or you will face me.” When mom is forced to say, “Just wait till your dad gets home!”, that should fill your child with a sense of dread. “Oh no! Now I’ve blown it!”

So today let us confess to God that we have neither treasured motherhood nor our own mothers as we ought. And let us kneel as we confess our sin to the Lord. We will have a time of silent confession followed by the corporate confession found in your bulletin.

Apostate Children

February 22, 2016 in Children, Discipline, Parents, Quotations, Ten Commandments

Note, The gross misconduct of wicked children is the grief and shame of their godly parents. Children should be the joy of their parents; but wicked children are their trouble, sadden their hearts, break their spirits, and make them go mourning from day to day. Children should be an ornament to their parents; but wicked children are their reproach, and are as dead flies in the pot of ointment: but let such children know that, if they repent not, the grief they have caused to their parents, and the damage religion has sustained in its reputation through them, will come into the account and be reckoned for.

Matthew Henry (1994). Matthew Henry’s commentary on the whole Bible: complete and unabridged in one volume (p. 74). Peabody: Hendrickson.

Honor Your Father and Mother

February 23, 2014 in Bible - OT - Exodus, Church History, Law and Gospel, Meditations, Mosaic Law, Parents, Reformation, Ten Commandments
Exodus 20:12 (NKJV)
12 “Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long upon the land which the LORD your God is giving you.
Martin Luther writes in his Large Catechism, “To fatherhood and motherhood God has given the special distinction, above all estates that are beneath it, that he commands us not simply to love our parents but also to honor them. With respect to brothers, sisters, and neighbors in general he commands nothing higher than that we love them. Thus he distinguishes father and mother above all other persons on earth, and places them next to himself. For it is a much greater thing to honor than to love. Honor includes not only love but also deference, humility, and modesty, directed (so to speak) toward a majesty hidden within them. It requires us not only to address them affectionately and reverently, but above all to show by our actions, both of heart and of body, that we respect them very highly and that next to God we give them the very highest place. For anyone whom we are whole-heartedly to honor, we must truly regard as high and great….
“[So] learn what this commandment requires concerning honor to parents. You are to esteem and prize them as the most precious treasure on earth. In your words you are to behave respectfully toward them, and not address them discourteously, critically, and censoriously, but submit to them and hold your tongue, even if they go too far. You are also to honor them by your actions (that is, with your body and possessions), serving them, helping them, and caring for them when they are old, sick, feeble, or poor; all this you should do not only cheerfully, but with humility and reverence, as in God’s sight…
“[N]otice what a great, good, and holy work is here assigned to children… If they wish to serve God with truly good works, they must do what is pleasing to their fathers and mothers, or to those who have parental authority over them. Every child who knows and does this has, in the first place, the great comfort of being able joyfully to boast in the face of all who are occupied with works of their own choice: ‘See, this work is well pleasing to my God in heaven; this I know for certain.’ Let them all come forward and boast of their many great, laborious, and difficult works; we shall see whether they can produce a single work that is greater and nobler than obedience to father and mother, which God has appointed and commanded next to obedience to his own majesty. If God’s Word and will are placed first and observed, nothing ought to be considered more important than the will and word of our parents, provided that these, too, are subordinated to obedience toward God and are not set into opposition to the preceding commandments.
“You should rejoice heartily and thank God that he has chosen and fitted you to perform a task so precious and pleasing to him. Even though it seems very trivial and contemptible, make sure that you regard it as great and precious…because it has its place within that jewel and holy treasure, the Word and commandments of God.”

These words of Luther remind us of the great honor that God has bestowed upon parents and of the honor which we are to show to them. And so reminded of our duty and convicted of the ways in which we have fallen short, let us kneel and confess our sin to the Lord, seeking His forgiveness.