Sentence of Excommunication
April 2, 2012 in Bible - NT - Matthew, Discipline, Ecclesiology, MeditationsSuspension from the Supper
January 24, 2012 in Bible - NT - 2 Thessalonians, Discipline, Ecclesiology, Meditations
13 But as for you, brethren, do not grow weary in doing good. 14 And if anyone does not obey our word in this epistle, note that person and do not keep company with him, that he may be ashamed. 15 Yet do not count him as an enemy, but admonish him as a brother.
The Discipline of Fathers
April 22, 2011 in Children, Covenantal Living, Discipline, Ecclesiology, MeditationsHebrews 12:7-11 (NKJV)
7 If you endure chastening, God deals with you as with sons; for what son is there whom a father does not chasten? 8 But if you are without chastening, of which all have become partakers, then you are illegitimate and not sons. 9 Furthermore, we have had human fathers who corrected us, and we paid them respect. Shall we not much more readily be in subjection to the Father of spirits and live? 10 For they indeed for a few days chastened us as seemed best to them, but He for our profit, that we may be partakers of His holiness. 11 Now no chastening seems to be joyful for the present, but painful; nevertheless, afterward it yields the peaceable fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it.
A couple weeks ago we observed that one of the duties fathers have before the eyes of God is to exhort and comfort and bear witness to each of our children. We are to bring them to a knowledge of the truth, striving to show them the beauty of a life lived in honor of our Lord Jesus Christ. Today we learn that an essential part of that training is discipline. Fathers are to discipline their children.
We learn from our text today a number of things about this discpline. First, discipline originates from a specific type of relationship. It is our sons and daughters that we are called upon as fathers to discipline. As much as we might deplore the conduct of the neighbors’ kids, as much as we might grieve for their long term health and prosperity, those children have not been entrusted to us and so it is not our responsibility to shepherd them. But it is our responsibility to discipline our own children – precisely because they are our own children given to us by God Himself in trust.
Second, discipline aims to imitate the discpline of our Father in Heaven. Hence, discipline is designed primarily for the profit of our children and not for our own profit. Indeed, when we use discipline primarily as a tool for our own comfort then we are misusing the tool. God discplines us for our profit, that we might share his holiness. So we are called to discipline our children for their profit, that they might be blessed. Discipline is a gift that we are to give to our children not a set of shackles to wrap around their legs.
So, fathers, discipline your children. Do not grow weary in doing good. And discipline them because they are your children and you love them – so the discipline should be for their good, their profit. And remember that this means it will hurt.
Children, for your part, respect your fathers and mothers. Hebrews calls upon you to honor and respect your parents in the midst of discipline. God has entrusted your parents with this authority and insists that you must heed and obey – even as you would obey God Himself.
These admonitions remind us of the many ways in which we have fallen short. We have sinned and are in need of the forgiving grace of God in Christ. And so let us confess the many ways in which we have fallen short. We will confess our sins privately and then corporately using the printed confession found in your bulletin. Let us kneel together as we confess.
Suspension from the Lord’s Supper
February 25, 2011 in Bible - NT - 2 Thessalonians, Discipline, Ecclesiology, MeditationsSeveral weeks ago we spoke of the necessity of discipline within the Christian community. Even as our fathers separated themselves from the mixed multitude in Nehemiah’s day, the church is commanded to publicly censure those professing the Name of Christ who refuse to obey the Word of God. Listen as Paul commands the Thessalonian church to implement the first stage of this public discipline, a stage we commonly refer to as Suspension from the Lord’s Supper:
2 Thessalonians 3:13-15 (NKJV)
13 But as for you, brethren, do not grow weary in doing good. 14 And if anyone does not obey our word in this epistle, note that person and do not keep company with him, that he may be ashamed. 15 Yet do not count him as an enemy, but admonish him as a brother.
Paul begins his words on discipline with an exhortation to the congregation at large, “brethren, do not grow weary in doing good.” Note that Paul’s command presumes that it is a temptation to grow weary in doing good – after all, we don’t warn about things that aren’t threats. In endeavoring to do good we face much opposition – both from within and from without – and so Paul commands us to never grow weary. The temptations of the Evil One, combined with the allurements of the world and the lusts of our own flesh, often make the task of doing good challenging. Add to this that other people frequently discourage us from doing good and we begin to understand that the temptation to grow weary is indeed great.
Because of the strength of this temptation, the temptation to give up doing good and simply start doing whatever, Paul exhorts the church to take seriously those who refuse to obey the Word of God. As Paul remarks elsewhere, a little leaven leavens the whole lump of dough. If a congregation permits sin to go unchecked, then that congregation cannot be surprised when such sin spreads. So notice that Paul urges the Thessalonians to act – “if anyone does not obey our word in this epistle, note that person and do not keep company with him, that he may be ashamed.” Paul’s command involves two parts – first, the Thessalonians are to “note” – mark – point out – publicly identify such a one. Second, they are to refuse to keep company – refuse to enjoy communion, including normal fellowship at the Lord’s Supper – with such a one. Why? What is the purpose of this marking? This suspending of normal fellowship? Note Paul’s words: “that he may be ashamed.” In other words, the purpose of this discipline is to awaken the sinner to the seriousness of his sin. As Solomon writes in Proverbs 20:30, “Blows that hurt cleanse away evil, As do stripes the inner depths of the heart.”
It is with sober hearts that the elders inform you today – in accordance with Paul’s words that such things are to be announced in the public assembly (1 Cor 5:4) – that ———— have been suspended from fellowship in the Lord’s Supper. For the last eight years and more the elders of Christ Church in Spokane and the elders of Trinity Church have endeavored to help ———– overcome sinful habits of communication in their home. These sinful habits include anger, outbursts of wrath, malice, dissension, lies, false accusations, bitterness, resentment, and all manner of evil speech (cf. Eph 4:25-32; Col 3:8-11). Despite repeated warnings and numerous attempts at accountability these habits have remain unchanged. As a result, ———— are living separately for the second time in as many years. Because they have failed to give heed to our private exhortations, we are now announcing this to the church, praying that God will use this to convict and restore them to one another and to the fellowship.
In so announcing, we would remind you of Paul’s exhortation, “do not treat [them] as enemies but admonish them as our brother and sister.” Your duty is to pray for and admonish ————- as professing Christians to repent of their sinful conduct and be restored to one another and to the body. And remember that we are to do this in a spirit of gentleness, taking care lest we also be tempted (cf. Gal 6:1-5). How might you be tempted in the midst of correcting them?
• Pride – Imagining that you yourself are above such sins and superior to ————-. Such is not the case. But for the grace of God, we would all be in like circumstances. So please pray for ———–, asking God to show them mercy.
• Gossip – Using this as an opportunity to speak uncharitably about ———– with others rather than as an opportunity to pray for them and long for their restoration.
• Slander – Listening to false accusations that may be made against the elders, accusing us of heavy-handedness or insensitivity in disciplining them. Let us assure you that this action is the culmination of years of patient shepherding that has borne no fruit.
• Flattery – Listening to sob stories from either ———- in which they blame others for their plight. By listening you would be allowing them to say what they want to say rather than calling them to hear what they need to hear. Admonish them to deal with their own sin in a godly fashion – by confessing it to the Lord and forsaking it (2 Cor 7:8-12).
These warnings against sin serve as a reminder to all of us of our need to confess our sins to the Lord. So let us confess our sins – first privately and then corporately using the prayer found in your bulletin. Let us kneel as we confess our sins together.
Proverbs 3:11-12 (NKJV)
11 My son, do not despise the chastening of the Lord, Nor detest His correction; 12 For whom the Lord loves He corrects, Just as a father the son in whom he delights.
Last week we learned that the reason God puts His childen through trials and tribulations, the reason that He chastises us, is because He loves us. God is absolutely sovereign, absolutely in control of each and every event, good or bad, which befalls us. Hence, no matter what we are experiencing, we can be assured that God intends it for our good – regardless the motives of others involved.
Today, I would like to turn our passage to the direct issue which it is addressing – discipline in the home. We have been meditating upon the lessons which the fathers of Israel are to teach us as the people of God. And here in our text is one of them – fathers teach us about our Heavenly Father.
Solomon words are quite plain: “For whom the Lord loves He corrects, Just as a father the son in whom he delights.” A righteous father, one who loves and cherishes his children, is one who is concerned for each child’s spiritual and personal growth and maturity. A father knows that “foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child” and so he utilizes discpline to “drive” this foolishness far away from him. And the practice of fathers in performing this salutary function for their children teaches us, teaches the entire community, about God Himself and His determination to sanctify us, to make us increasingly men and women of character by disciplining us.
So fathers, how are we doing? Are we engaged with the discipline of our children? Are we concerned for them? Or are we distracted by other things, thinking that other things are more important? Hear the Word of God: he who fails to correct his son hates his son.
But not only must we be engaged in discipline, we must also be engaged in a way that glorifies our Father in heaven, that imitates His character toward His children. Hence, our discipline must always be for the good of our children – must be designed to bless them and strengthen them and make them ever more faithful servants of Christ Jesus. Discpline is supposed to be a gift.
So what are ways we can be tempted to distort this? Our chief temptation is to discipline our children not for their good but for our good. So we discipline them to get them out of our hair – to prevent them from disturbing our tranquility or our enjoyment of some other activity. Or we discipline them because we are frustrated with ourselves or with our day at work – we take out our frustration on them. Or we discipline them because we are concerned what others might think of us, because we are embarrassed by their behavior. In all these cases, the discipline is for us rather than for them – but this is not how our Heavenly Father treats us. Consequently, if we discpline our children this way, we are teaching a false Gospel, a Gospel that says, “God is so concerned about Himself that He has no time for His creatures.” Let us teach a true Gospel, a Gospel that says, “God is so happy in Himself that He has abundant time to lavish affection on each of His children.”
And for you children out there, remember that this passage teaches you an important lesson – if your parents love you, they will discipline you. It is the permissive parent, the parent who says, “Oh do what you like I don’t really care” who truly doesn’t care. So when your parents hold you accountable, when they discipline you and give you consequences for your behavior, be sure to thank them for loving you and caring for you. Discpline is a gift – and we all know to say thank you when we’re given a gift.
Reminded that we engage with those we truly love, let us kneel and confess that we have failed to love our children as we ought, failed to respect our parents as we ought.
Proverbs 22:15 (NKJV)
15 Foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child; The rod of correction will drive it far from him.
Imagine if you will a toddler in a room full of toys. There are toys of all kinds and more than one of each toy. The toddler is happy, playing contentedly in one corner of the room. Into this idyllic scene introduce another toddler. Which toy will the new toddler want? The room is full of toys, multiple copies of each toy. But which toy will the new toddler want? The one that our original toddler was playing with contentedly.
Parents are prone to ask their children, when some nasty behavior starts manifesting itself in the home, “Where did you learn that? Who taught you that?” And, of course, there are times when our sinful patterns of behavior are shaped by those with whom we associate. But the deepest answer to our parental question, “Who taught you that?” is “I learned that quite well from my father Adam.” Solomon tells us in our text today that one of the things we learn from the toddlers who are, mind you, part of the Kingdom of God is the universality of sin.
The great Bishop of Salisbury under Queen Elizabeth, a man by the name of John Jewel noted in one of his sermons:
Behold man’s nature, and consider it even from our first birth. How full of affections, how wayward is the young child which lieth in the cradle! His body is but small, but he hath a great heart, and it is altogether inclined to evil. And the more he waxeth in reason by years, the more he groweth proud, froward, wilful, unruly, and disobedient. If this sparkle be suffered to increase, it will rage over, and burn down the whole house.
“Foolishness,” Solomon warns us, “is bound up in the heart of a child.” Only a fool like Rousseau, who abandoned his children to an orphanage rather than be inconvenienced with their sin, could imagine that humans are good by nature and only become evil by observing others’ example. As any parent who actually interacts with his children knows, the evil doesn’t come only from outside. The sin is bound up in our hearts at birth
And so Solomon reminds us that the course of action parents must pursue in order to rescue their children from their own foolishness is discipline. “Foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child, the rod of correction will drive it far from him.” As parents we must be diligent to train and correct our children in the course of their life, so that, by God’s grace, they be rescued from the folly they inherited from Adam. The rod of correction will drive foolishness from him.
As any gardener knows, it is not difficult to grow weeds in the garden – they seem to appear quite spontaneously. We don’t need to do anything for them to grow and to grow abundantly. What is difficult is to grow vegetation. Likewise in a child. Children left on their own will be a shame to their father and their mother. As Bishop Jewel remarked, “If this sparkle be suffered to increase, it will rage over, and burn down the whole house.” Permissive parenting is not a biblical virtue. Solomon declares, “The rod and rebuke give wisdom, But a child left to himself brings shame to his mother” (Pr 29:15). If you love your children then discipline them, help them to see the foolishness that is wrapped up in all of us by birth.
So toddlers – in reminding us of the universality of sin and the need for discipline – should point us to our Heavenly Father. If we understand that our children are born in sin and in need of discipline, then we must also perceive that as we grow older the sin doesn’t disappear, it just becomes more sophisticated. Consequently, we too stand in need of correction to drive foolishness from us. But who will discipline us? If we are God’s children, adopted into His family, He promises to discipline us for our good. He uses discipline – trials, persecutions, heartaches – to drive foolishness from our hearts and make us more like Jesus.
Reminded of these lessons taught to us by the toddlers in our midst, let us kneel and confess our sin to our Father.
My father-in-law drew our attention to this half-time show at the U.S. Naval Academy. Incredible!
“Now no chastening seems to be joyful for the present, but painful; nevertheless, afterward it yields the peaceable fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it.” Hebrews 12:11
Discipline should be a lively topic in families. Fathers and mothers ought always to be reminding their children of the reasons for chastening. And as we explain these things, the text before us today should frequently be on our lips. “Now no chastening seems to be joyful for the present, but painful; nevertheless, afterward it yields the peaceable fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it.”
Notice that the author of Hebrews tells us two things about discipline that we can pass on to our children but which we should also be passing on to ourselves. For first and foremost this passage concerns the way in which God trains us; only by analogy does it discuss the discipline of a father with his children. What then do we learn about discipline?
First, we learn that discipline is painful. No discipline seems enjoyable at the time it is administered. Its intention is to be painful. And so, you children out there, when your parents get out the rod or when your parents impose some consequence upon your sinful behavior – don’t expect the consequence to be enjoyable. Hebrews tells us – its intention is quite the opposite. It is intended to be painful. For it is the pain that trains us and fashions us – the pain that teaches us to avoid that pattern of behavior in the future.
Most of us parents are adept at delivering this lesson to our children. But how often do we deliver this message to ourselves? Brothers and sisters, the discipline of the Lord does not seem pleasant at the time. When the Lord puts us through some trial or when the Lord disciplines us for violating His commandments, why is it that we expect things should be jolly? He is sharpening us; disciplining us; chastening us. We expect our children to know what those things mean; so why do we have such a hard time letting it soak in to our own consciousness? No discipline is enjoyable at the moment.
But this is not the only thing we learn about discipline. While discipline is painful, it is not intended to end in pain. The ultimate goal of the Lord’s discipline, as should be the goal of parental discipline, is the cultivation of the peaceful fruit of righteousness in our lives. Our Lord promises to use discipline to make us more lovely people. He is training us. That which He purposes to create within us by means of trials and chastisement is righteousness.
But note that this righteouness is not an automatic biproduct of discipline. If we are to see the fruit of righteousness in our lives then we must, in the words of our text, be trained by the discipline. In other words, we must take the discipline to heart and learn from it. We must not harden ourselves to the discpline; must not complain that we have been treated ill; must not kick against the goads. Rather we must bow the knee before our Lord and learn the lesson.
And so, children, how are you responding to the discipline of the Lord through your parents? Are you bowing the knee? Are you acknowledging the authorities that God has placed over you and submitting yourself to them? Does discipline produce in you the peaceful fruit of righteousness? Or is it instead producing resentment, bitterness, gloom, or depression? And what of us adults? How are we responding to the discipline of the Lord? Does discipline produce in us the peaceful fruit of righteousness? Or does it instead produce resentment, bitterness, complaining, grumbling, depression?
As we come into our Father’s presence this morning let us kneel and confess that we have not received His discipline as we ought.