Givers and Graspers

October 21, 2010 in Bible - OT - Proverbs, Friendship, Meditations

“Many will seek the favor of a generous man, and every man is friend to him who gives gifts. All the brothers of a poor man hate him; How much more do his friends abandon him! He pursues them with words, but they are gone.”
Proverbs 19:6,7

Friendship is a precious commodity. Unfortunately we seldom give sufficient attention to those things which make friendships grow and blossom. The text before us today devotes this attention. And, with Solomon’s characteristic pith, he packs a mouthful into very short space.

The text contrasts two types of men—the one who is generous and the one who is grasping. The former is a man of many friends; the latter of many enemies—indeed even his brothers turn against him. We, of course, would prefer to have some friends as opposed to none and so let us consider this passage for a moment.

Who is this generous man? We are told that he is one who “gives gifts” and one from whom people “seek favors.” We are accustomed to think of these gifts in purely monetary terms. However, the text embraces no such limitation. The generous man is just that—generous, open-handed. He gives of himself; he gives of his time; he gives of his resources. In sum, he sacrifices his own desires to bless others. Consequently, he has many friends. When his co-worker asks him for help, he agrees. When his children ask him to read to them, he reads. If you are a generous child, you do chores for your brother or sister, you ask your mom or dad how you can help them around the house, you clean your room without being asked. The generous man gives—he is always looking for those in need not thinking how much he needs himself. And isn’t this truly the secret of friendship—to be a friend to others rather than to expect that others will be a friend to you?

Now contrast the generous man with the grasping man. “All the brothers of a poor man hate him; how much more do his friends abandon him.” Because Solomon is contrasting this poor man with a generous man, it is highly unlikely that Solomon is thinking solely of a man who is poor monetarily. Rather he is describing one whose poverty taints all his relationships. Th type of poor man Solomon describes is a grasper; he always wants more, always needs more. He is like a leech, never satisfied, ever consuming. He never seems to have enough. He is a bottomless pit. You can give him your fortune; he will still be poor. You can give him your time; he will demand more. You can do him a favor; he will expect another. Whereas the motto of the generous man is “My life for yours,” the motto of the grasping man is, “Your life for mine.” And so husbands and wives make demands of one another and grow embittered because their spouse just isn’t meeting their needs; girls demand that their friends spend more time with them or they won’t speak to them anymore; fathers neglect their families in order to have “time away” by themselves; children refuse to say “thank you” for their dinner. And all these actions, all these actions of the grasping man, estrange friends.

And so let me ask some questions. Do you wonder why your children seem distant? Wonder why your husband doesn’t want to talk as much? Wonder why your siblings can’t seem to get along with you? Wonder why you don’t have any friends? Let me suggest that the reason these things are happening is because you are grasping not giving. Covenant today to turn from your grasping self-centeredness and to become a generous man like our Lord Jesus Christ. The first part of this covenant is confessing to the Lord that we have been graspers. So let us kneel and let us confess our sin to the Lord.

Body Language

April 5, 2010 in Bible - OT - Proverbs, Ecclesiology, Meditations

Proverbs 6:16-19 (NKJV)
16 These six things the Lord hates, Yes, seven are an abomination to Him: 17 A proud look, A lying tongue, Hands that shed innocent blood, 18 A heart that devises wicked plans, Feet that are swift in running to evil, 19 A false witness who speaks lies, And one who sows discord among brethren.

In the course of his instruction to his son, Solomon takes a moment to remind his son that there are certain things which the Lord despises, which He hates. While many today are fond of talking of God’s love, few have reckoned with the fact that those who love much must also hate intensely. He who loves his wife must hate him who would steal her away or injure her. He who loves his children must hate him who would lead them astray or hurt them. He who loves the Church must hate him who would disrupt her peace or divide her. As Jesus tells us, “One cannot love God and mammon. He who loves the one must hate the other.” So too the Lord who loves and cherishes righteousness must necessarily hate and despise wickedness.

Solomon arranges these sins which the Lord hates in couplets. The first and last go together; the second and second to last, so on. Let us consider each in turn.

The first and last items have to do with arrogance and pride – a proud look and one who sows discord among brothers. These exhortations picture a man who imagines that his way is always the right way; the one who cannot consider that perhaps others may have wisdom and insight to give; the one who is haughty and domineering, crushing his brothers. Haughty people inevitably cause discord among others because they have to prove that they know best – and the only way they can prove they know best is if they destroy everyone who might compete with them. Beware pride.

The second couplet addresses lying and deceit. The Lord despises the lying tongue and a false witness who utters lies. He hates the tongue that pours forth honey but under which are poisonous asps and adders; the tongue that plots the destruction of others while securing its own advantage. Beware lying and deceit.

The third couplet exhorts those whose hands and feet are destructive, “whose hands shed innocent blood…whose feet are swift to do evil.” Earlier Solomon warned his son about the gang mentality – do not follow a multitude to do evil. Our hands have been given to protect the innocent but the wicked man slays them; our feet have been given to walk in the path of life but the wicked man pursues the path of death. The reason we should shun gang violence, in other words, is because their conduct is offensive to a holy God. Beware violence.

At the center of these couplets comes Solomon’s most treasured instruction for his son. That which the Lord hates is a “heart that devises wicked plans.” Earlier Solomon had warned his son – “Watch over your heart with all diligence, for from it flow the issues of life.” And here – in his arrangement of sins the Lord despises – he returns to this theme. Watch over your heart. It is our heart that leads us to scheme and plot and destroy. It is our heart that becomes bitter and resentful and moves us to wickedness. Beware an evil heart.

So reviewing these exhortations, I would like you to notice that Solomon addresses every aspect of our lives. First, he addresses body language. The Lord hates a proud look. Notice that this means that there is such a thing as a proud look. Beware your face and the tale it tells. Second, he addresses speech, he addresses our mouth. God hates a lying tongue, a false witness. Beware your speech. Third, God addresses our actions, our hands and our feet. Beware what you do and where you walk, whose steps you follow. Finally, He addresses our heart – for from it flow the issues of life. Beware what you are loving and esteeming; what you are hating and abhorring.

Reminded that our whole being – our looks, our speech, our actions, and our hearts – are open and bare before the face of Him to whom we must give an account, let us kneel and confess our sins to Lord.

Sexual Sin

March 1, 2010 in Bible - OT - Proverbs, Ecclesiology, Meditations

Proverbs 7:7 (NKJV)
7 And I saw among the simple, I perceived among the youths, A young man devoid of understanding,

For a number of weeks we have considered the positive lessons which young men teach us as the people of God. Unfortunately, there are also negative lessons they teach as Solomon remarks today. And one of these is their propensity to sexual sin.

Young men frequently imagine that having sex makes them all grown up. Having sex is the measure of a man. Interestingly enough, however, Solomon teaches us that the young man who falls into sexual sin is not doing the leading, he is being led. Far from being manly, he is being effeminate. Solomon remarks later in the chapter that “he went after her, as an ox goes to the slaughter, or as a fool to the correction of the stocks.” As Solomon remarks in our verse, a young man who falls into sexual sin is “devoid of understanding.” He is the consummate fool.

So, young men, beware sexual temptation. There was a day in American culture when it was more difficult to convince a woman to have sex outside the confines of marriage. That day is gone. Throughout your life, particularly if you go off to college, you will find that there are plenty of young women not just willing but urging you to come along with them. Understand Solomon’s warning. The offer they are making may look good up front – she’s attractive, your hormones are engaged, sex is a good and great thing – but the end is death, shame, destruction. Don’t be like an ox going off to the slaughter.

But sexual temptation comes in more shapes than the three dimensional one. Pornography is a killer and it is more easily accessible today than ever before in history. The same women who are willing to seduce you in person, are more than willing to sell themselves in magazines and on the internet. Flee from it. Pornography is the way of death – it will destroy your initiative, undermine your marriages, and, most importantly, estrange you from your Maker and Redeemer. If you need help, get help. Do not be a young man lacking sense.

As we consider the particular temptation that young men face, the exhortation comes to all of us. Beware sexual sin. It is the path to destruction and death. Though Satan may make it look attractive up front, be assured its end is in death and destruction.

Reminded of our propensity to take the good gifts of God like sex and turn them into instruments for our own death, let us kneel and seek His forgiveness.

The Way of a Man with a Maid

February 22, 2010 in Bible - OT - Proverbs, Marriage, Meditations

Proverbs 30:18-19 (NKJV)
18 There are three things which are too wonderful for me, Yes, four which I do not understand: 19 The way of an eagle in the air, The way of a serpent on a rock, The way of a ship in the midst of the sea, And the way of a man with a maid.

Today is St. Valentine’s Day, the day our culture celebrates the affection of lovers for one another. We have been considering the lessons that young men teach us as the people of God. Their strength is a glory, a glory that should manifest itself not only in their physical feats but their spiritual development. But there is perhaps no truth more evidently known about young men than that they begin to develop a rather keen interest in young women.

Solomon reminds us today that this desire is good. After all, it was God who first designed man and woman to be together. He said the man was not complete when alone; He put the man to sleep and pulled a rib from his side; He crafted and shaped the woman; He presented her to the man. God designed the affection that lovers have one for another.

So perfect was the design, that Scripture records the first words spoken by Adam in the Garden, words spoken when this new creature was first brought before him. And these weren’t just run of the mill words. No, they were astonished words, glorious words, affectionate words. The first words of mankind, after all, were poetry:

This is now bone of my bones,
And flesh of my flesh,
She shall be called woman
Because she was taken out of man.


The first couple was designed by God and praised by man. And every couple since has been His handiwork as well. Solomon reminds us that though riches and wealth come from one’s fathers, a good wife is a gift from God Himself.

Evolutionary culture would have us believe that the attraction of a man and woman for one another is a mere matter of biology. We are mere animals and the sight of certain things arouses us. But as Solomon meditates upon God’s gift of love, and the gift of lovers, he confesses that it is all mystery – not biology.

There are three things which are too wonderful for me, Yes, four which I do not understand: The way of an eagle in the air, The way of a serpent on a rock, The way of a ship in the midst of the sea, And the way of a man with a maid.


How is it that a man otherwise taciturn and sullen, suddenly awakens and becomes sociable and amiable? How is it that a man directionless and purposeless, suddenly develops a clear and distinct vision? How is it that a man intent and disciplined, suddenly forgets himself, finds it difficult to focus, and is distracted from his work? And how is it that any man convinces a maid to love him and covenant with him?

All these things, Solomon confesses, are a mystery – but not because they are so petty and foolish, rather because they are so glorious and resplendent. We all shake our heads at some fool who wastes his substance at the gambling table. Sin is a mystery. But this is not the type of mystery that confronts us when considering the way of a man with a maid – no this is a mystery of God’s making. A marvel like eagles in the air, serpents on a rock, ships in the sea.

So, young men, God himself gave you the desire to be with a woman. Desiring to earn the hand of a woman is a good and noble thing. But a woman whose hand is worth having, is a woman who makes you earn it – so be purposeful, be intent, be honorable – and treat all the women in your life with respect until God in His grace and kindness gives you one specific woman upon whom to shower your affections.

And older men, let us not forget the ardor with which we pursued the woman by our side. Let us remember that she is a gift of God – and let us continue to pursue her to the glory of God and the beautification of our bride.

Reminded that we often despise the gifts of God, that we often seek His gifts in unlawful ways, that we often fail to thank Him for the gifts that He has given, let us kneel and confess our sin to Him.

Diversity of Glory

January 18, 2010 in Bible - OT - Proverbs, Children, Meditations

Proverbs 20:29 (NKJV)
29 The glory of young men is their strength, And the splendor of old men is their gray head.

Well it’s basketball season. This week Gonzaga played Saint Mary’s and the highlight of the game was watching Gonzaga freshman Elias Harris. Harris had 31 points and 13 rebounds – and a good portion of those points appeared to be accomplished as Harris looked down on the basket rather than up at it. At one point Harris jumped so high the announcer remarked that he appeared to be climbing his opponent’s back.

Harris’ performance was another reminder – as we saw last week – that the glory of young men is their strength. And as we also remarked, Solomon recognizes and celebrates this strength. But the very strength of young men exposes them to a particularly nasty temptation – that of scorning those who no longer possess or who never possessed such strength. As a result of the Fall, those who are strong are prone to despise those who are not. And so the second section of Solomon’s proverb serves as an important reminder to young men that glory comes in various shapes and sizes: The glory of young men is their strength, and the splendor of old men is their gray head.

So young men learn the lesson today: not all glory comes in a shape you can immediately appreciate. Just because something does not strike you as “cool” doesn’t mean that it’s not glorious and wonderful in the eyes of God. An old man has lost the strength he once possessed but he has gained another which is splendid – his grey hair – which you are to esteem because God does. A woman is not typically as physically strong as a man but she has other strengths which are splendid and glorious in the eyes of God. A child is not as strong as a young man but he has other strengths which we have already considered, strengths which display the glory of God and which you are to acknowledge and embrace.

In other words, those whose glory is their strength have a hard time seeing the different type of glory that God has placed in others. God calls all of us to glory in the diversified strengths he has placed in the body. Rather than disparage the weak, we are to honor, respect, and protect them. And young men, you especially need to cultivate this grace of admiring different types of glory. This time in your life is the time when you need to appreciate the silliness of your younger brothers and sisters not scorn it as something you did when you were “young and immature.” This time in your life is the time when you need to learn to respect the strength that God has placed in a woman not dismiss your mother as irrational. This time in your life is the time when you need to honor the grey headed not mock them as holdovers of a by-gone age.

At no time in history have these lessons been more necessary and more challenging. Despite our language of diversity, multi-culturalism, and acceptance, we have become a people intoxicated with the strength of youth. And so young men you are going to have a very challenging time learning these lessons in your youth. But isn’t this what you want? Didn’t you ask for a challenge? Isn’t your glory your strength? Then show it by honoring the different types of glory that God has placed around you.

Reminded that we all are tempted to scorn the different types of glory that God has placed about us, let us kneel and confess our sin to our Father.

The Universality of Sin

November 9, 2009 in Bible - OT - Proverbs, Discipline, Meditations

Proverbs 22:15 (NKJV)
15 Foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child; The rod of correction will drive it far from him.

Imagine if you will a toddler in a room full of toys. There are toys of all kinds and more than one of each toy. The toddler is happy, playing contentedly in one corner of the room. Into this idyllic scene introduce another toddler. Which toy will the new toddler want? The room is full of toys, multiple copies of each toy. But which toy will the new toddler want? The one that our original toddler was playing with contentedly.

Parents are prone to ask their children, when some nasty behavior starts manifesting itself in the home, “Where did you learn that? Who taught you that?” And, of course, there are times when our sinful patterns of behavior are shaped by those with whom we associate. But the deepest answer to our parental question, “Who taught you that?” is “I learned that quite well from my father Adam.” Solomon tells us in our text today that one of the things we learn from the toddlers who are, mind you, part of the Kingdom of God is the universality of sin.

The great Bishop of Salisbury under Queen Elizabeth, a man by the name of John Jewel noted in one of his sermons:

Behold man’s nature, and consider it even from our first birth. How full of affections, how wayward is the young child which lieth in the cradle! His body is but small, but he hath a great heart, and it is altogether inclined to evil. And the more he waxeth in reason by years, the more he groweth proud, froward, wilful, unruly, and disobedient. If this sparkle be suffered to increase, it will rage over, and burn down the whole house.


“Foolishness,” Solomon warns us, “is bound up in the heart of a child.” Only a fool like Rousseau, who abandoned his children to an orphanage rather than be inconvenienced with their sin, could imagine that humans are good by nature and only become evil by observing others’ example. As any parent who actually interacts with his children knows, the evil doesn’t come only from outside. The sin is bound up in our hearts at birth

And so Solomon reminds us that the course of action parents must pursue in order to rescue their children from their own foolishness is discipline. “Foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child, the rod of correction will drive it far from him.” As parents we must be diligent to train and correct our children in the course of their life, so that, by God’s grace, they be rescued from the folly they inherited from Adam. The rod of correction will drive foolishness from him.

As any gardener knows, it is not difficult to grow weeds in the garden – they seem to appear quite spontaneously. We don’t need to do anything for them to grow and to grow abundantly. What is difficult is to grow vegetation. Likewise in a child. Children left on their own will be a shame to their father and their mother. As Bishop Jewel remarked, “If this sparkle be suffered to increase, it will rage over, and burn down the whole house.” Permissive parenting is not a biblical virtue. Solomon declares, “The rod and rebuke give wisdom, But a child left to himself brings shame to his mother” (Pr 29:15). If you love your children then discipline them, help them to see the foolishness that is wrapped up in all of us by birth.

So toddlers – in reminding us of the universality of sin and the need for discipline – should point us to our Heavenly Father. If we understand that our children are born in sin and in need of discipline, then we must also perceive that as we grow older the sin doesn’t disappear, it just becomes more sophisticated. Consequently, we too stand in need of correction to drive foolishness from us. But who will discipline us? If we are God’s children, adopted into His family, He promises to discipline us for our good. He uses discipline – trials, persecutions, heartaches – to drive foolishness from our hearts and make us more like Jesus.

Reminded of these lessons taught to us by the toddlers in our midst, let us kneel and confess our sin to our Father.

The Gift of Good Manners

September 15, 2009 in Bible - NT - Colossians, Bible - OT - Proverbs, Meditations

“5 Walk in wisdom toward those who are outside, redeeming the time. 6 Let your speech always be with grace, seasoned with salt, that you may know how you ought to answer each one.” Colossians 4:5,6

In closing his letter to the Colossians, Paul urges a number of common graces upon the believers in Colossae. Knowing that they would be tempted in the cosmopolitan and corrupt city of Colossae to retreat into a holy huddle and be cranky and uptight, Paul imparts to them some closing words of counsel about their actions and their speech.

In regard to our actions, Paul commands us to “walk in wisdom” and to “redeem the time.” Paul urges us to follow the exhortations to wisdom found in Proverbs and other books, particularly in light of the brevity of our lives and the time that the Lord has allotted to each of us on earth. We are to use the gifts and talents that the Lord has afforded us to the best of our ability and for the benefit of others.

This other oriented focus continues in Paul’s exhortation regarding our speech. “Let your speech always be with grace, seasoned with salt, that you may know how you ought to answer each one.” Elsewhere he gives the same basic command urging us to speak in such a way that it “gives grace to those who hear.” Our speech, Paul tells us, is not primarily to serve ourselves but to serve others.

And so, what do these exhortations mean for us? First, they remind us that Paul saw no contrast between the Gospel of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ and the wisdom literature, like the Proverbs, in the Old Testament. After all, these words that Paul entrusts to the Colossians were nothing new. Solomon had given the same basic exhortation years before.

“24 Put away from you”, Solomon counsels, “a deceitful mouth,
And put perverse lips far from you.
25 Let your eyes look straight ahead,
And your eyelids look right before you.
26 Ponder the path of your feet,
And let all your ways be established.
27 Do not turn to the right or the left;
Remove your foot from evil.”

Notice then that when Paul urges us to walk in wisdom, he is commanding us to have these proverbs dwell in our hearts and minds. Let us teach them to our children and grandchildren that they might learn what it means to walk in wisdom and redeem the time.

Second, in this passage Paul is endorsing the old-fashioned concept of good manners. For what are manners but simple patterns of behavior that attempt to put others at ease and consider their well-being as more important than our own? Opening the doors for ladies, saying hello and goodbye, saying thank you and you’re welcome – we should view all these trifles as attempts to incarnate Paul’s admonition to let our conduct be characterized by wisdom and our speech seasoned with salt.

There is one particular way in which we can be practicing Paul’s wisdom every week as we gather together. We worship in a facility that is not our own but which we are being permitted to use. As guests in this facility, we need to demonstrate good manners. And so, children, you shouldn’t be climbing over the furniture, playing with things that aren’t ours, or carrying your donuts outside the eating area.

And you, parents, take responsibility for your children. Watch over them with all diligence and teach them the importance of manifesting good manners in their treatment of this facility. But let us not do this in such a way that we too violate the command to have our speech seasoned with grace. We mustn’t yell and scream at our children because we have failed to train them in good manners. Instilling manners into our children is not done on Sunday morning – it must be happening all week so that Sunday morning is nothing new. So the exhortation comes to us: we must impart the grace of manners to our children.

Walk in wisdom, redeem the time, speak with grace – these are the reminders that Paul gives to the Colossians and to us. Reminded how we as a people have failed to fulfill these things, let us kneel and confess this to our Father seeking His forgiveness.

Old Fashioned Good Manners

January 6, 2009 in Bible - NT - Colossians, Bible - OT - Proverbs, Meditations

Colossians 4:5-6 (NKJV)5 Walk in wisdom toward those who are outside, redeeming the time. 6 Let your speech always be with grace, seasoned with salt, that you may know how you ought to answer each one.

In closing his letter to the Colossians, Paul urges a number of common graces upon the believers in Colossae. Knowing that they would be tempted in the cosmopolitan and corrupt city of Colossae to retreat into a holy huddle and be cranky and uptight, Paul imparts to them, and to us, some closing words of counsel, directing both our actions and our speech.

In regard to our actions, Paul urges us to “walk in wisdom” and to “redeem the time.” In other words, Paul commands us to follow the exhortations to wisdom found in Proverbs and other books, particularly in light of the brevity of our lives and the time that the Lord has allotted to each of us on earth. We are to use the gifts and talents that the Lord has afforded us to the best of our ability and for the benefit of others.

This other oriented focus continues in Paul’s exhortation regarding our speech. “Let your speech always be with grace, seasoned with salt, that you may know how you ought to answer each one.” Elsewhere he gives the same basic command urging us to speak in such a way that it “gives grace to those who hear.” Our speech, Paul tells us, is not primarily to serve ourselves but to serve others.

And so, what do these exhortations mean for us? First, they remind us that Paul saw no contrast between the Proverbs of Solomon and the Gospel of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. So let us be diligent to have these proverbs dwell in our hearts and minds. Let us teach them to our children and grandchildren that they might learn what it means to walk in wisdom.

Second, in this passage Paul is endorsing the old-fashioned concept of good manners. Manners are simply patterns of behavior that attempt to put others at ease and consider their well-being as more important than our own. Opening the doors for ladies, saying hello and goodbye, saying thank you and you’re welcome – we should view all these trifles as attempts to incarnate Paul’s admonition to let our conduct be characterized by wisdom and our speech be seasoned with salt.

And so let me make sure that we understand the very practical implications of these good manners. Today we find ourselves in a new facility that, Lord willing, we will be able to enjoy for some time to come. As guests in this facility, we need to demonstrate good manners. And so, children, you shouldn’t be climbing on the furniture, intruding into office space, or playing on the stage or in the kitchen. Don’t touch things that aren’t yours and be careful to treat everything as though it were quite precious. We are being given the privilege of meeting here and need to exercise good manners in the way we use the facility.

And you, parents, take responsibility for your children. Watch over them with all diligence and teach them the importance of manifesting good manners in their treatment of our new home. But don’t do this in such a way that you too violate the stricture to have your speech seasoned with grace. Don’t yell and scream at your children because you have failed to train them in good manners. Instilling manners into our children is not done on Sunday morning – it must be happening all week so that Sunday morning is nothing new. And so the exhortation to you parents is – impart the grace of good manners to your children – don’t rob them. “He also who is slack in his work,” Solomon tells us, “Is brother to him who destroys.” Take the time to impart these courtesies to your kids.

Walk in wisdom, redeem the time, speak with grace – these are the reminders that Paul gives to the Colossians and to us. Reminded how we as a people have failed to fulfill these things, let us kneel and confess this to our Father seeking His forgiveness.