James 3:6 (NKJV)6 And the tongue is a fire, a world of iniquity. The tongue is so set among our members that it defiles the whole body, and sets on fire the course of nature; and it is set on fire by hell.

Thus far in our exposition of James’ admonition regarding the tongue, we have considered variations on the one basic sin of lying. Gossip, slander, flattery, and lying proper are all variations of an deceitful tongue. Today we consider an abuse of the tongue which dresses far more respectably than the other sins. Most Christians know we shouldn’t gossip, slander, flatter, or lie and so, when we commit such sins, we do so surreptitiously, endeavoring to cover our sin with a cloak of respectability. But the sin of the tongue we discuss today seems to need no such cloak. It struts about the street in a bright white suit with penguin shoes, parading itself as the epitome of honesty and respectability. So what is this nefarious abuse of the tongue? When our toddlers do it, we call it whining –but among adults we call it grumbling or complaining.

Lest everyone riot and storm the pulpit, declaring in no uncertain terms that complaining is not a sin, let me take a moment to read from the Apostle Paul. Philippians 2:14-15 declares:

Do all things without complaining and disputing, that you may become blameless and harmless, children of God without fault in the midst of a crooked and perverse generation, among whom you shine as lights in the world.

Let us take note of what Paul tells us about complaining. First, note that he tells us that those who don’t complain will be blameless and harmless. In other words, if you want to be blameless, then you must avoid complaining. To complain is not to be blameless but blameworthy. Second, note that Paul says that the way to be children of God without fault is to avoid complaining. Now, of course, you can choose to be children of God with fault and complain. But, Paul says, if you want to be known as children of God without fault, then you will avoid complaining – for complaining is a fault. Third, notice that those who avoid complaining will shine like stars in the universe. How so? Because nothing so clearly characterizes the world as grumbling or complaining. Did the plumbing break? Complain. Is it raining again? Complain. Is it hot again? Complain. Are the dishes dirty? Complain. Is the traffic moving slow? Complain. Complaining comes as naturally to fallen man as swimming to a fish. And how does Paul characterize this complaining? As darkness. Complaining, brothers and sisters, is a sin.

Notice, then, the exhortation that Paul gives us – “Do all things without complaining or arguing.” Take just a moment and consider what Paul is telling us. Let me read it again. “Do all things without complaining or arguing.” Did you catch that? When does Paul give us permission to complain? Well, as a matter of fact, he doesn’t give us permission to complain anytime. He tells us to do “all things” without complaining or arguing. Do you know what “all things” means in the Greek? It means “all things.”

Are you changing a diaper? Don’t complain. Are you disciplining your son or daughter? Don’t complain. Are you fixing the car? Don’t complain. Are you filling your gas tank? Don’t complain. Are you taking out the garbage? Don’t complain. Are you doing your chores? Don’t complain. Have your parents given you a command that you don’t like? Don’t complain.

Ah, we say, but that’s so fake. Why shouldn’t I express my real self? Why shouldn’t I complain? Well the answer lies in the way Paul identifies us – we are children of God. This, of course, implies that God is our Father. And because God is our Father we know that He loves us and cares for us – He knows precisely what we need at any given moment and so crafts the moments of our lives that all comes for our good and for His glory. If that is true – if it is true that our Father crafts all these things for our benefit – then we shouldn’t complain, we should give thanks. We should be overflowing with gratitude. God has orchestrated this very moment for our good. What could be a greater cause for thankfulness? And so Paul calls us to be children of God without fault in the midst of a crooked and complaining generation. How? By overflowing with gratitude.

Reminded that we are prone to use our tongue to complain about our circumstances and our tasks rather than to give thanks to our Father, let us kneel and confess our sin to the Lord.

James 3:6 (NKJV)6 And the tongue is a fire, a world of iniquity. The tongue is so set among our members that it defiles the whole body, and sets on fire the course of nature; and it is set on fire by hell.

Gossip, slander, lies – these are some of the sins of the tongue we have displayed in our exposition of James’ warning that the tongue is a fire, a world of iniquity. This morning we look at flattery, a closely related cousin to our other vices.

To flatter is to praise excessively or fulsomely especially from motives of self-interest. It attempts to gratify or appeal to the self-love of its victim by artful and interested attentions. Hence flattery, when uncovered, exposes not only the insincerity of the flatterer but the vanity of the one flattered. As Dale Carnegie once quipped, “Flattery is telling the other person precisely what he thinks about himself.”

Flattery is the stock and trade of certain segments of society. Politicians regularly utilize the vice to ingratiate themselves with voters and get into office. The adulteress in Proverbs uses it to lure men to destruction. Men use it to seduce women who are lonely and in need of companionship. Girls use it with teachers to get better grades. And grown women use it in the workplace to get promotions. The list goes on and on.

Flattery is another form of lying. Proverbs 26:28 draws a parallel between the two sins. “A lying tongue hates those who are crushed by it, And a flattering mouth works ruin.” Notice then that genuine compliments are not in view. Nor are kind remarks given for the benefit of the hearer – telling your four year old that her picture of mom looks lovely even though it appears to be a cross between a dragon and a warehouse building. Flattery of the forbidden kind uses others simply as stepping stones for one’s own advantage. “A man who flatters his neighbor Spreads a net for his feet” (Prov 29:5).

And so beware – not only of flattering others but of being flattered yourself. Do not permit your vanity to lure you to destruction. Nowhere is it more necessary to be alert in this regard than in the way we view our children. Some parents simply refuse to acknowledge their children’s faults. If your “cuddly little one” is a hellion in others’ company then you’ve got a problem to deal with. So how can you protect yourself from being a victim of flattery? Learn to love reproof and correction; ask others to evaluate you honestly; ask others what the primary problems with your children are. “He who rebukes a man will find more favor afterward Than he who flatters with the tongue” (Prov 28:23).

Reminded that we have not only flattered our neighbor but that we have been vain and allowed ourselves to be flattered, let us kneel and confess our sins to the Lord.

James 3:6 (NKJV)6 And the tongue is a fire, a world of iniquity. The tongue is so set among our members that it defiles the whole body, and sets on fire the course of nature; and it is set on fire by hell.

God is love. But there are certain things that God hates and which we should hate too. Proverbs 6:16-19 says:

16 These six things the Lord hates, Yes, seven are an abomination to Him: 17 A proud look, A lying tongue, Hands that shed innocent blood, 18 A heart that devises wicked plans, Feet that are swift in running to evil, 19 A false witness who speaks lies, And one who sows discord among brethren.

Notice that among the seven things listed by Solomon, lying occupies a prominent position. God hates a lying tongue and he hates a false witness who speaks lies. As we detail various sins of the tongue, therefore, it is important to address the sin of lying.

Why does God hate a lying tongue? Because it violates His nature. Jesus Himself declared, “I am the way, the truth, and the life.” And because He is the truth, He beseeches the Father to make his disciples truthful people, “Sanctify them in the truth,” he prays, “Thy word is truth.” You see precisely because God is a God of truth, he hates those, he despises those who fiddle with the truth to serve their own petty ends.

It is important before detailing what lying is, that we also clarify what lying is not. There are those who are unduly pietistic in their definition of lying – having scruples about things that God does not condemn. So a few clarifiers. We do not lie when we use tactics in battle. God Himself commanded the Israelites to deceive the men of Ai and pretend to retreat before them. We do not lie when we are protecting the life of those who are innocent from the wicked. Corrie ten Boom and others were right to tell the Nazis they were not hiding Jews even though they were. We do not lie when we tell stories that are not true in order to illustrate one that is true and drive others to repentance. Nathan was justified in telling the story of the man who stole another’s sheep even though that event did not actually happen because a far more serious event – David’s sin with Bathsheba – did happen and David needed to repent.

Other qualifiers could be given, but with these in mind let us be clear what lying is. The most basic definition of lying, of course, is to tell an untruth. We lie when we say something is true which we know to be false. This, of course, is different than being mistaken. But when we report something as true when we know it is false we are lying. “No officer I was really only going 25 – never mind that my speedometer read 90.” “No mommy I didn’t steal any cookies from the cookie jar – never mind the crumbs on my shirt.” “No Sally I’m not upset with you – never mind that I haven’t spoken to you in six months.” False advertising would fit into this category of lying. “Yes George this here car is running in tip top shape – never mind that I put an additive in the transmission to cover up the grinding noise.”

Alongside this basic type of lying are other more subtle forms. We lie when we promise that which we know we cannot fulfill. You business owners will be especially tempted in this regard and need to guard yourselves carefully. Do not make promises that you cannot fulfill. Here’s the way this will work. You know that you need additional work to make ends meet. Someone has a job that you can do. They ask you to do it next Friday. But you know you can’t get it done by next Friday. Nevertheless, you promise them – yeah I’ll do that. Ah you’ve got your customer. Then you call next Wednesday and say – hey I’m sorry, I’ve had something come up and I can’t get there on Friday – but I’ll be there on Monday. You rationalize thus – well I’m still getting the job done; if she didn’t want me to do the job anymore she’d tell me – never mind that I’ve now put her in a bind in which she can’t get any other help. If you promise to do a job for someone next Friday knowing that there’s no possibility or little possibility you will accomplish it, then you have lied.

We lie when we do not hold true to promises we have made. “The righteous,” Psalm 15 declares, “swears to his own hurt and does not change.” The liar, on the other hand, swears to his own hurt and changes when he realizes he is going to get hurt or whenever a better option comes his way. The liar hates the truth. Oh he may not say it in so many words – I hate truth – but by his actions he declares the same. I know I said that – but it doesn’t matter, I’m going to do this now. If you act that way, you are a liar.

We lie when we declare to be true that which God has declared to be false. “Who is the liar except he who denies that Jesus Christ has come in the flesh? This one is a liar and an antichrist.”

And so the question comes to you this morning – are you a liar? Have you lied to your neighbor? Have you said something is true which you know to be false? Have you made promises knowing you couldn’t fulfill them? Have you failed to fulfill your promises? Have you despised the Word of God? If so, then you need to make it right. You need to ask the forgiveness of those you have wronged and the forgiveness of our great God and King.

And so this morning let us kneel and confess the ways in which not only we but also our culture has indulged the sin of lying.

James 3:6 (NKJV)6 And the tongue is a fire, a world of iniquity. The tongue is so set among our members that it defiles the whole body, and sets on fire the course of nature; and it is set on fire by hell.

Father Joseph Weitensteiner – “Father Joe” to those who know him – devoted much of his life to the service of troubled boys and young men in Spokane. Having served as the Executive Director of Morning Star Ranch in Spokane continuously since 1966, he retired in 2006 at the age of 74.

A year before his retirement, allegations were aimed at Father Joe charging him with abuse by men who lived at the Morning Star Ranch back in the 1970s. The Spokesman Review highly publicized the accusations – interviewing the accusers, getting “their side” of the story. Never mind these allegations came from inmates who failed to profit from their time at the ranch. Never mind these allegations were countered by thousands of testimonies vouching for Father Joe’s character from staff at the Ranch, from grown men whose lives had been transformed by his ministry, and from families who had been restored through his labors.

The highly publicized accusations took their toll on Father Joe’s health and were no doubt one of the factors leading to his retirement. To help expose the slander, Father Joe requested a polygraph examination from an independent agency and passed 100%. In December 2005, after the allegations came forward, Father Joe issued a statement offering “forgiveness and reconciliation to those who are making these false accusations.” “Creating a positive and safe environment at Morning Star Boys’ Ranch,” he stated, “has been one of my primary priorities for 40 years. These allegations have hurt me deeply, but I have confidence that those who know me and have worked with me throughout my career know what is real.” But sadly in many respects the damage was already done.

Last week we considered the devastating impact that gossip has on human relationships. Those who go about bearing tales separate intimate friends, introduce coldness into relationships, and undermine trust.

Closely related to gossip is slander. Gossip becomes slander when the rumor intentionally circulated is clearly false and intended to destroy. Slander has a much clearer sinister element to it – intending as it does to harm the one about whom the tale is told. While those who gossip sometimes delude themselves into thinking that they are really helping the other person or at least not harming anyone, the slanderer intentionally sets out to harm another by spreading falsehoods. He is using his tongue to destroy.

Warnings against slander are replete in the Scriptures. David complained, “For I hear the slander of many; Fear is on every side; While they take counsel together against me, They scheme to take away my life.” His son Solomon notes in Proverbs 10:18, “Whoever hides hatred has lying lips, And whoever spreads slander is a fool.” And Paul, in the other testament, notes that in the latter days men will be “unloving, unforgiving, slanderers.”

Because of the insidious nature of slander, severe curses are called down upon the one who practices the same. The psalmist prays in Psalm 140:11, “Let not a slanderer be established in the earth; Let evil hunt the violent man to overthrow him.” And God Himself announces in Psalm 101:5, “Whoever secretly slanders his neighbor, Him I will destroy.” God takes slander seriously.

Reminded once again that the tongue is a fire – able to destroy a lifetime’s, even more than a lifetime’s labor – let us kneel and confess that we have not guarded our tongues, that we have used them to evil purposes, that we have attempted to destroy others with them.